- First Impression
I've never really been one for fake things. I hate fake friends, fake boobs are liars and tofurkey is an abomination in the eyes of God. Why go for the fake stuff when the real things are so much better? I mostly feel the same thing about sex toys. Generally, if I have to choose between a sex toy or no sex, I'll choose no sex. There is just no good replacement for a real hot dick. And then I hooked up with this guy who pulled out this tiny little vibrating nugget, went to town on me, and I saw Cher so I might be a new convert.
- Navigation
Anyway, I'm kind of excited for GuysWithToys.com, because maybe the issue I have with toys is that I don't know how to use them properly (other than, y'know, push in pull out, lather rinse repeat), so maybe I'll pick up some tricks here. The homepage is kitted out kind of generically. There's a lot of colors (read: rainbows) and naturally a lot of sex toys, but I'm kind of disappointed that the sex toys aren't more prominently featured. Logging in, all that pretense goes away and the site layout is even more boring. Instead of bright colors, it's gray and light blue and I just want to go to sleep. The navigation is pretty simple, but not overly so. There's a navigational bar along the left side of the window and that's pretty much all you need. -
- Content
Content delivery is anything but simple, in a good way. Besides streaming the videos online, users can download them 5 different ways: MPEG 4 high, medium or low, WMV and iPhone. Similarly, photo sets can be viewed online in slideshow formats of varying speeds. Awesomely, the photo sets can also be downloaded bulk-wise in zip files. In my opinion, if a website doesn't deliver 100% in all areas, it needs to deliver 100% in content delivery. Here, Guys With Toys knocks it out of the park. -
- Guys and Sex
Unfortunately, the content quality doesn't quite deliver as well. When the sex is hot, it's really hot. However, the sex is rarely hot when the toys are involved. This makes me kind of sad, because why hole yourself up into such a specific genre if you're not going to bring the hotness? Videos and pictures are also separated into two different designations: regular videos and pics and the gay videos and pics. The regular videos and pics feature videos specifically made for Guys With Toys. With just 28 videos to choose from, there's not much for the fledgling site to rely on. The Gay Videos are much more ample--over 2500 of them--and can be organized into any different combination of genres, thanks to the handy dropdown menu at the top of the page. These are the videos to watch. It's where the sex is hottest and the guys are hottest. -
- Value
In addition to the 2500 videos in "gay vids", Guys With Toys offers access to 73 different websites, with each website offering a different video ever week to view. Additionally, there's Live Sex, Adult Dating and Sex toys/Adult Shop. I'm usually not one for a website that shills sex toys or other adult merchandise, but Guys With Toys is ready made for it. It should be noted that many of the extra sites are straight porn. -
- Bottom Line
GuysWithToys.com is kind of like looking at Seurrat's "A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of Le Grande Jatte". From far away, it works on all levels. But as you get closer, you see that everything is just kind of a bunch of abstract dots. If the site worked harder on providing really quality content specific to its genre, those abstract dots might cohese into something completely beautiful. -
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